Sherlock Ohms and the Case for Nuclear Power

Scene I

Sherlock Ohms: It’s good to be in the Library reading my very favorite book, Sherlock Ohms, the Autobiography. I wrote it myself, you know.

Watson: OH, I love this part!

All of a sudden the lights go out.

Watson: (cries) NOOOOOO I need to know what happens next!

Sherlock: I’ll tell you what happened. It’s another one of those blasted rolling black- outs.

Watson: Shoot. It’s probably because the coal-fired power plants are shutting down because they are adding too much smog into our air and they have to clean the smoke stacks out.

Sherlock: They provide us with over 67% of our power so when they shut down, our community power is limited.

Watson: This Library needs to come up with some solutions about where it’s power comes from so they don’t run out of lights…so everyone can read your autobiography.

Sherlock: Yes Watson, this is a very energy efficient Library so we need to sleuth around to find some alternative ways to power it.

Watson: How is it energy efficient?

Sherlock: These double paned windows, and air lock entryways to keep the conditioned air from escaping do a good job of saving energy.

Watson: What about all these computers?

Sherlock: Well, Watson, the computers shut down about 15 minutes after closing.

Watson: Where did you learn that?

Sherlock:From the Energy Audit posted on the wall, Watson.

Cell Phone Rings:

Sherlock: Yes, Glowing Building? We’re on our way.

Sherlock and Watson: (Driving around the stage)

Watson: We drove to the scene and there we were face to face with a mad scientist, inside a glowing lab.

Scene II

Mad Scientist: So, what do you want?

Sherlock Ohms: Who are you, and just what are you doing here?

Mad Scientist: I am Dr. Electrolux, Who are you?

Watson: Oh me, that is nice of you to ask, I’m…

Sherlock: (sharply) WATSON.

Watson: So sorry, Sir.

Sherlock: We’re here because of a phone call we received.

Mad Scientist: Go, I’m busy… I, and my genius research associates must get back to work. I’m trying to save you.

Sherlock: Excuse me?

Mad Scientist: That smog this morning is due to that belching coal fired power plant. It just can’t go on! My associates and I, Dr. Nu, and Dr. Clear, have been researching better energy options that will not pollute our air. They have solved the problems with Nuclear Power by creating detoxifying bacteria to eat the radioactive waste!

Watson: What??

Sherlock: Your MAD!

Mad Scientist: Thank you!

Sherlock: I feel like I’ll be here a while so I’ll introduce myself…

I am Sherlock Ohms.

Watson: I want to introduce myself to! I’m Dr. Watson!

Sherlock: Huh…

Watson: Why would we use Nuclear Power? It’s dangerous, and not environmentally correct.

Dr. Nu: Well, if you’re talking Bombs, then Yes…They are terribly dangerous, and pose long term threats to our environment.

Dr. Clear: But if you’re talking Nuclear Power, then no. Nuclear Power plants are safe and environmentally healthy. There are no dangerous greenhouse effect gases released into the atmosphere.

Sherlock: Well, even if nuclear power plants are non-polluting, what about things like meltdowns, and explosions, and accidents?

Watson: That sounds soooo scary!

Dr. Clear: According to Professor Cohen, from the University of Pittsburgh, “Only a small amount of the public realizes that if nuclear accidents were as dangerous as burning coal, we would have to have a meltdown every 5 days!”

Dr. Nu: I can think of only a few meltdowns that have happened, and safety technology is always improving.

Sherlock: But the waste is still very dangerous. What do you plan to do about that?

Mad Scientist: IGOR…Bring me my little nuclear waste-eating bacteria!

Igor: (from off stage) Yes Dr. Coming Dr. Right away, Dr.

Igor: Here’s your bacteria, It’s been trapping and transforming radioactive particles all day. I’m sure it would like to meet our guests! He just finished eating some radioactive waste, but he shouldn’t be gassy!

Dr. Nu: I’ll take the bacteria back to the Lab; you know how sleepy he gets after a big meal. And, after the waste is, well, thoroughly digested, and rendered non-radioactive we’ll just bury it!

Sherlock: Bacteria does not sleep! Or get gassy for that matter…

Watson: Where did you learn that?!?

Sherlock: Elementary my dear Watson.

Igor: What about the thorium, can’t we just bring it out for a little while? Pleeease..It’s so…useful.

Watson: Thorium?

Dr. Nan: Yes, Thorium. It’s a plentiful element that can also be used to create a nuclear reaction.

Igor: And the best part is that it doesn’t create nearly as much radioactive waste!

Dr. No: Or Greenhouse gas either!

Sherlock: So why aren’t we using this “Thorium” right now?

Mad Scientist: It just costs too much money right now. You know how expensive new technology is when it’s first discovered.

Igor: The bottom line is, our atmosphere can’t take any more abuse, and we’ve GOT TO find better ways to power the world as soon as possible.

Mad Scientist: I’m convinced that Nuclear Power is the solution. We cannot Cower from Nuclear Power.

Sherlock Ohms: Well, Dr. It seems that you may not be quite as MAD as I thought. But that still doesn’t explain that strange green glow coming from your lab.

Mad Scientist: Oh, that…That’s just our Compost Pile.

Watson: Case Closed.